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It’s a strange feeling, suddenly not having to look at a piece of work you’ve been doing on for nearly nine months. My dissertation has pretty much ruled my life, causing me loose sleep, making me irritable and probably horrible to live with, keept me from my friends, and prevented me form spending a decent amount of time with my family over the holidays. Though I did give myself Christmas to January 2nd off so that I didn’t go absolutely insane in my membrane, as those who work through Christmas so often do.

Before beginning my dissertation, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my design degree (which I shall be fighting for, tooth and nail, to get a decent grade. Even if it kills me!), but now I think I know. Or at least have a rather strong inkling. I’ve always been one of those geeks who’s really enjoyed getting their teeth into writing. Remember that chubby kid from secondary school who was always sitting quietly, getting on with their work and trying to ignore the poor excuse for pond life sitting next to them, who was most probably kicking them under the table when the teacher wasn’t looking? Yeah, that was me. All the knuckling down, working hell-a hard for my GCSEs and not giving the pond-scum the time time of day, really paid off. I’ve always found that I’ve had a fairly firm grasp on a use of the English language (despite epically failing at spelling) and my dissertation has made me realise that this is what I want to do. 

I don’t mean that I want to spend hours writing an academic tome that a student will pick up once in a blue moon and then complain about how boring it / how heavy it makes their backpack (you know we’ve all done it). I want to keep up with the times, following contemporary design and design issues. I want to do something like the CR Blog. Something fun that gives me free access to design events and license to talk critically about them. 

By no means do I want to stop practicing design. I’m just not sure I have the confidence in my design skills to compete with professionals who have been doing it for years. If my last grade was anything to go by, even the amount of time and effort I put into work doesn’t seem to be enough. Maybe I should just give up sleep so I can have more time to work… *looks at time stamp*, OK, I think the last push to get my dissertation finished already did that for me :p

I’m not going to make a definite decision on anything right now. You don’t know what can happen in a few months. I’ve got work experience with Elmwood some time this year. You never know, they might tell me that I’m definitely not cut out for design, to throw in the proverbial towel and I might as well learn how to use a mop. I could get a D for my dissertation. Though if that happens, I think I might just blow a gasket. Or cry myself to sleep for a few months…

Yay optimism! 😀

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